24 June 2009

Sympathizing a Friend

Four years ago, I met this lady in Abu Dhabi whom I assumed to be like a snobbish type of person. I wasn't really that much comfortable the type of personality she has. For what I knew, she talks differently in a way that you won't even be able to decipher what she's talking about with a sophisticated tune. Well, I must give a compliment to her that whether I do or don't understand what the he*l she's talking about, she got the wit in her.

I didn't expect that I will become that closer to her because of my first impression. I was completely wrong when I knew her better. She cracks a lot of jokes, she gives advises, and to the least I would say, she has a big heart for her friends and family. She lends money to her friends / relatives who are in need! Wow! There will be no second words to her for as long as she knows that her help will be for a good cause. However, a lie will be totally unacceptable to her…..yes unacceptable but sometimes, still she is giving another chance especially to her relatives. Whew!

I was amazed the way she gives advises to her friends like us because you would think and ask yourself,
is this lady of late 20's able to give such kind of advises? Inspirational and always linked to real-life experiences? I mean, experience-wise she hasn't much of that life but how could she tells us that we have to balance everything, the positive and the negative side of it. For us, her friends, we are common to converse to her about our interesting love lives! That's always the favorite topic! We were then curious does she has a boyfriend? Obviously because she is still single. I guess this kind of thing she does not share to us or maybe there is nothing to be shared yet…let's wait for that.

Just last week I was at the Dirhams Plaza (A shopping haven where you can buy stuff for like AED 2 for a descent kitchenware, etc.) and unexpectedly met her again there. Since both of us are already off at work, we then decided to sit in ChowKing for a dinner. As usual I got my favorite daing na bangus and she got an avocado shake…I was wondering why. I was quite hesitant to ask here more aside from exchanging "how are you's" because she seems like in trouble, emotionally! I can see that in her face.

She started the conversation with "didn't you know that everytime we talk about your lovelife, I was already in a relationship?" Actually I wasn't surprised at all because I have already heard this from some of my friends as well so I just said, "Oh ok, that's nice to know". I didn’t ask her that much, I just let her share whatever she wants to. So she did. Apparently, she is the one now who is in need of an advise regarding her relationship for almost 2 years. I just adore her how she was able to keep the relationship without anyone from her friends knowing it. And that is why if I remember, it is as well almost 2 years now that she is of least contact with us…like being with us in a small gathering, picnic at corniche and even to join for a jog. You could just imagine how she was totally in a deep relationship and now what is happening?

It's like she let her world revolved around her boyfriend only and didn't think that it might come so short to make them suffocated with each other. In my mind, I just thought how she is to be inloved. Giving everything to his guy and had never left for herself. Whooa, ladies out there…aren't we like this? Hope not.

The sharing moments with my friend's teary-eyed went on and I kept on listening. My heart broke when she told me that the guy does not have future plans with her…of keeping her…. WTF kind of guy is that playing somebody who unconditionally loved and supports him in every way? Is that worth keeping him long? Of course not! Whether we agree or not, straight people who enters in a relationship at least think of something where will it end. Well of course, this is not a thing to rush but has to be well-planned…may take more years being bf-gf relationship balancing each other's compatibility, and the like. At it extremes, this does not apply to people of making it in a relationship for fun! But what for? Short-time fun?

This is just a common thing that happens in a relationship, the guy forced to tell her like literally telling her to be OUT of his life because he is flirting with other girl/s! Girls for sure you might have heard this: That when the phone rings and he doesn't answer if you are there, keeping his phone away from you or putting passwords only Einstein knows, and very rampant flirting through the internet! Your guy is miraculously doing something fishy! Why would a man flirt if he is in a good state of a relationship? Again, for fun? Bored? Or looking forward to meet a new one to replace his current lousy gf? Excuse my word, but is it really true that men are by nature polygamous?

But despite of that heartbreaking story, she gave some good points to the guy like he is patient to her like if she's making attitude regarding being demanding on time, etc. He makes his way to please her once in a while…..concluding that "he is good!" Really? Well maybe, because he's just being honest telling her that he can't keep her that's why she doesn't have to expect for anything that may happen or come along the way. That means, that if he meets a new girl…based on his standards then she will be absolutely OUT of his life! Poor girl.

So I dared ask her…what are her plans? - Still being with him because in as much as she wants to end the relationship with her guy, it is so difficult for her. It will not be that easy to immediately stop things and the feelings still there. Though she cried and being hurt so many times, she will just let it pass to have it like a small piece of stone to put in her heart and if these pieces form into a big one, she will be ready to stop! OMG, isn't it ridiculous to be a prisoner of your own ghost? Why not let him go? She just smiled at me and said "I did let him go already" and what may happen she is ready for that. "Like what?" I again asked. If the guy wants to date a new girl and bind with, it may hurt but to have her guy free and happy, she has then to be happy?! Ohhh how many girls out there still are like her?

What a depression I can see in my friend's eyes but I know she will eventually be able to recover. Just a piece of advise from me to someone who used to give such kind of huge advises, it is not yet the end of the world and she has to continue a new life…whenever she is ready. There will absolutely be a guy who is much and much more deserving for her. She has to wait for a God's given.

We ended up with a not-so-nice evening and teary-eyed when we got out from ChowKing. I just then realized that the Kris Aquino type of girl is really existing with not only 1 or 2 ladies. That even how smart a girl is, when she's trapped by Mr. Love, she becomes dumb! This made me wink at my current relationship? Hmmmn….

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