Yes, it hurts at first. Asking yourself, "will I be able to cope it up?" How long will I feel the pain inside? I should forget everything! The person, the memories of happiness in the past and turned to sadness at present. You cannot just cease to figure out the flashbacks that keep decoding in your memory. How are you going to start a new life? A new beginning perhaps? - Emotional issues that keeps rotting me, but I wouldn't permit this will just continue torturing myself. Afterall, I am and I myself only to manipulate my life, what I wanna be, what will I feel and nobody else but me.
It's been quite sometime I was with silly mixed emotions. Not at peace. Where i'l put myself at? Shall I do something to please somebody? Shall I open up sensitive topics where in the very beginning we always avoid discussing from? What? what? what?
Ok, enough! I did some few things which I thought could please someone else but it didn't work. I was on a dilemma should I stay or not? Conversations, discussions in between came up but nothing has been sorted out with all thoughts that recovering that long years of relationship might happen.
I was wrong at first when I said, I might not be able to make it. That I might break down because of pain. Being honest to myself, it's the way opposite! It's like a huge relief being free! No more why's lingering on my mind. No more expectations, just being yourself day-by-day as you wanna be.
My friends keep telling me, you are truly one unique person who is able to be at peace when you're just over with something...i mean a relationship! I myself wonder why but I am truly thankful and indeed happy for what we have both decided.
Yeah, it is both for our own good. We might not know what's going to happen in 2012? Hahaha! In the future! Near, near future!
My family and friends, I'm very well ok! Thanks to Ate Ning, Shiela and Sheryl who are cheering me up. Bringing up tiny things that make us laugh out loud! Thanks girls! And above all and I will always say this,THANK GOD for giving me such STRENGTH!