I wanted to feel the genuine intention and so I can have the urge to nurture and embrace it wholeheartedly. But the feelings are so distant and even how hard I was trying to convince myself to have a new beginning with it, I still didn’t win. Am I not ready for a New Love yet or it is just being scared to double the pain I will have if it will again fail?
The story goes….
It started so nicely. Cool, sweet, firm and can make the crowd drooling from those hilarious stories were all the first impressions. Impressions that I wanted to believe it will last. But I was wrong ‘cos it didn’t. It changed speedily and the real personality behind the mask came out naturally. My findings and own prejudices are now my master that tells me to stay away and never ever look back.
But I already have my other leg trapped and I am scared with the consequences that will more arise and I will be doomed by my own, self-inflicted deeds should we hold no ceasefire. Will I still have my Alas and the power to fight for any deceptions despite him being incognito? This, I must always remember.
It’s hard but I have to be on the brighter side of this story. I want it but I can’t force myself if this isn’t meant for me.